evelyn

There comes a point in life,
When you are asked to talk with nothing to say.
You wish you could have done more,
But all that you are left with are the memories,
Of times good and grand, carefree times of youth
And those places only known to the best of friends.
Certain things are not meant for a child so young.
At seventeen a mother belongs with her son,
A merciless God has taken her, leaving him with none.
Questions arrive in due time replacing the anger within,
Questions never to be answered, darkness closing in.
Troubling times are met with troubling thoughts,
All time spent here on earth was all for naught.
An explanation for this cannot be attained,
Nothing more can be done to help dull the pain.
The sky is crying, mourning the loss of one so dear,
Leaving the ground washed out with hurt so sincere.
Knocking on heaven's great pearly door,
There is not one person who could deserve it more.

poetry from an autumn night

The Joy of Flight

The thunder of a thousand feet,
Echoing none but one.
Time working its wondrous magic,
Changing all within its path.
The essence of a man is challenged,
Will he pass the test?
Do not fear what you cannot control,
Grasp what is in your bounds.
For there is not one path but many,
Which is the one that you will choose?

Quiet Musings

The air has changed and with it,
The mentality of a man.
A clean slate, a fresh sheet,
Chances are not to be taken lightly.
Look not upon others for glory,
But look within oneself.
Blessed are the humble and the meek,
Take not a giving man for weak.

A Lovely Night

The street-lamps have been illuminated with their gentle glow,
Casting the tired Earth in the eerie glow of the night.
A breeze passes through the trees shaking their branches,
Loosing the fragile leaves encased within their boughs;
Summer's warm caress has been defeated by the kiss of fall.
No longer are the days without care, the nights seeped with emotion,
The last stone has been cast and the hour of change has come.

autumnal equinox: the turning of the seasons, the crescendo of the year

As some of you may already know, my days are consumed totally and completely by running and the exorbanent amounts of school work, so the blog posts will become fewer and farther between. For now though, I would like to comment on the changing of summer into fall. It is that time when the leaves change from their summer green into the assortment of reds, yellows, oranges, and mixtures of those colors. It is that time when you wake up, you are able to catch a glimpse of the red sun penetrating that myriad of color, making one of the most beautiful spectacles on earth. During this wonderful time, you are truly able to see the enchantment of nature in all of its glory. There is nothing that I enjoy more than just sitting in the woods and watching and listening to the world around me. Truly, it is a magical place. As I was on one of my various runs this week, I was able to just run and feel the world around me. I did not talk for most of this time, just allowed my body and my mind to take in everything around me. I was able to see everything and feel the world around me. It was just my body, in its natural state, running in the natural world. There is something magical about that fact. Most of the time on my runs, I am forced to go so fast that I am unable to appreciate what is going on around me. I usually miss out on the trees and the fallen logs, the rocks in their random patterns and the various underbrush growing along the paths. When you slow down, you are able to grasp more of the world around you, and you begin to notice things that normally would have been passed by. In our everyday lives, we rush through life without taking much notice to what is going on around us and what kind of effect our actions are having. While running, I was able to slow down my life and just watch the forest go by; absorbing it with my psyche and clinging on to those memories of a more beautiful place. When you run in a setting like that, you become a part of the environment, breathing as it breathes, feeling what it feels. This is a feeling like no other, to become one with your surroundings is a powerful and enlightening experience. Look at the trees the next time that you pass them by. They have something to share with you. "Human subtlety will never devise an invention more beautiful, more simple or more direct than does Nature, because in her inventions, nothing is lacking and nothing is superfluous." -Leonardo da Vinci

conclusions

It is time for another addition to Justin's time with the ignorant. As indicated by all of the people commenting Katie, I can see that this is making an impact and causing people to think, not just blindly follow. I hope that by continuing this argument I am able to expand some minds and allow people to see both sides. Regardless, this will be my last post in my attempt to get Katie to stop reaching so blindly out to Jesus and God. All I wanted to do from the beginning was freely express my views on a few things that I did not feel to be right, but in this process I was able to write a complete discourse on the short-comings of a religion that refuses to loosen its grip on the people on the inside. I was not going to expand on the post that sparked this war, but the words of Katie lit the fuse of a keg waiting to explode. I am sorry you did not catch me on an off week Katie, maybe I would not have made you look so foolish. So, here are the last words that I have to say on this subject for a great while. Bring in your reinforcements Katie, they will fall on deaf ears.

Not once in this discussion have a disputed the existence of a certain human being named Jesus. I have repeatedly stated that he was a person. He was a man who did kind and caring things, but did not perform miracles. He was not the son of God. Apparently you have not read my writings or you would not be disputing this fact with me for the third time. Speaking of research, there would have been no reason for me to hear of the evangelists that you hold so dear to your heart. As a Catholic, I had no use for evangelists. My church did not preach hell-fire, but acts of kindness towards others. It was not a place of fear, but of respect. I began to question not these acts of kindness, but the existence of a God. I searched deep within myself to see if I had even believed that from the start, or was just going along with the rest of my family. I, like you, have chosen a different path than the one laid before me by my parents. I lost religion because if you begin to question something, you have to find an answer. Mine came in the form of reading various Bible passages and works of prominent atheists and agnostics. I lost my faith when I began to see that an all-loving God would not allow his children to be persecuted by their brothers. How can a god justify the outright ostracizing of some of his children. The religious right in this country is what really killed God for me. It was people like you who decided that they needed to force their religion upon those with different views. Let the people be, they will find their own path. If you are only concerned with "saving" everyone from an eternity of hell-fire, then find a new mission. There is no Hell. People are not judged by a higher power, they only judge themselves. How you are viewed by the people you leave behind is the true reward of this life, not a fantastical paradise. I was not imposing these views upon you when you read my blog. You brought this upon yourself by taking that first step and challenging my ways. The true measure of a mind's strength is how well it is able to think critically. Blindly following a faith, accepting all of its doctrines without so much as question why is not thinking critically. So, yes, Katie, I do think that you are weak-minded. Just because of that though, does not mean I am trying to impose my views upon you. I cannot stress enough that you were the one who began this. As for your veil, it was not torn, but put up in front of your eyes. If you are not able to question your faith than you are blind. The separation of a people from their "God" is the way this country is supposed to be run, but because of people like you, it is not. Laws are made based solely on the views of the religious right that deny others rights that they should be allowed. There is no reason other than a religious one that gays should not be married. There is no other reason than a religious one that stem cell research is being restricted. Research that can save lives. THE BIBLE IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY. I am sick of people using that book as an excuse for their actions. To say that everything is the will of God is like saying that the reason a thermos keeps something hot or cold is because God made it that way. Christianity is a tool used for mind control, and it has obviously had the desired effect on you. It is a shame because a mind is a terrible thing to waste. "The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance... logic can be happily tossed out the window," -Stephen King.

Feel free to comment Katie and friends. I will read.

god, where are you?

And the comments just keep on coming! I love a girl who just cannot leave well enough alone. Katie, thank you for brightening my day with your latest comment on my heathen views. I know you enjoy my comments on all those lies of science and logic. I, likewise, enjoy a little tomfoolery on your part. I cannot wait to see how I am wrong about this next set of ideas. I am looking forward to you opinion!

As I predicted, you are one of those evangelical Christians who take every word in the Bible to heart and interpret everything in a literal sense. Congratulations, you and people like you are the route of all the problems this country has in politics. It is people like you who deny homosexuals marriage and prevent women from getting abortions, because human life is sacred. No one group of people should impose their views on the majority of people who do not even think like they do. It is not the job of Christians to run a country, leave that to the politicians. As for the statement of my seniority in matters of the Christian faith, the statement that it make is one of time for contemplation. I have had ten years longer than you to contemplate the fallacies if this type of religion. I have had the time to ask myself the questions that lead to a greater understanding of the world. I have done my research, I have read countless essays and discourses on the topic of the existence of God. I have had the time to formulate an EDUCATED opinion on this topic that is based on fact, not just the rhetoric of a pastor who claims to know the truth. Religion keeps you in the dark and prevents you from wanting to find answers and flaws. I spent years of my life listening in church to the things the Bible was saying and the messages that were being sent. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a humble and kind person, but this should not be attained through the fear of retribution from a higher power. What makes more sense to you, that humans popped out of thin air or that over a period of time they were shaped into what we are today? I mean come on, use logic. Where is the SCIENCE to support your views? Where is the logic? Where are the facts? Guess what, Jesus was not the son of God. He was not a "perfect" person. He was a man who claimed to be divine like so many others that have come after him. He was a man that did great things, but did not perform miracles. There was no curing the blind man, that was a metaphor. He did not raise Lazarus from the dead, that was also a metaphorical statement. Those were things written to portray Jesus a certain way, but they are not the only writings about him. There are equally as many documents confirming Jesus' mortality. I would also like to point out that I never said Jesus was made up, just not the son of God. I would also like to give a big shout out to Josh McDowell, who is apparently a well known evangelist, or as I like to call them, con-artists. These people go around claiming to have the holy spirit and that by trusting them with your mind and MONEY, they can save your soul. So, as to prevent people from wasting their hard earned money, I am sorry to say that there is no heaven. So Josh, stop taking these people's cash. It is time for religion to cease, it had its day. The Dark Ages were fun, but now we have science to explain what we do not understand. At least science is not some big man in the sky. I am going to leave you Katie, with a quote to ponder. This is from my dear friend Friedrich Nietzsche, who some happen to call the ant-Christ. "Is man one of God's blunders, or is God one of man's blunders." Please, comment me back on this, I need a good chuckle.

Also, this is how you spell these words. What kind of southern state do you live in that prevents you from learning how to spell religion? This might help to make your points more valid.
R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N
P-R-O-P-H-E-C-Y
M-A-G-D-A-L-E-N-E


And this whole statement makes completely no sense. It would be nice if you could make sense of this for me.
Fourth, obviously most catholic churches arent "Word Churches" as my pastor likes to call them. They arent even "spirit-filled churches". and if you dont believe in God then you arent Catholic.
Fifth, The first thing to go, when jesus died on the cross and said "it is finished", was the curtain (or veil) which separated God from his people. That curtain represented religeon. Because it keeps people in a pattern and their not "on fire for God" anymore.

Thanks Katie, you are an inspiration to us all.

oh katie, why?

So apparently Katie could not let this thing die. She decided that she just had to comment me back and spin some religious rhetoric about girl scout cookies. If you want to read her comments, they are on my posts "darwinism at work" and "random is..." So now I have to defend my honor and once again, try and make this girl realize that none of her comments about Jesus dying for me are going to have the desired effect. And would it kill her to spell check?

So, to begin, I have been a Catholic for 15 years of my life, which, unless you dispute this fact of science, is about ten years longer than you have been a Christian. In my time as a Catholic I have witnessed follies of a religion based on a book that was compiled by a bunch of men in a room to try and distract people from the crap in their lives. Jesus was not the son of God, merely a man who did good deeds in his lifetime. He was raised to this position by that group of men who also sought to put down women in the Bible. Mary Magdalene was not a prostitute, she was one of the greatest people in Jesus' day. She was made this way as to make Jesus seem larger than life and as a deity who was not influenced by the carnal pleasures of this world. Too bad he had kids and a wife. Also, there is, to my knowledge, no reference to Girl Scout cookies or Texas in the Bible. The book, and that is what it is, a book, is to not be taken literally. There was no walking on water, no turning water into wine. I would also challenge you to give me a valid reason as to why God exists. I have one for why he does not, because it makes no sense. God was a fabrication of a people who could not explain the things that were occurring around them. They made up this concept of a higher being to explain things that they did not understand. This brings me to my next topic, science. Science is real, religion is a bunch of stories. There is no scientific backing to support creationism. Do you want to know why? It is a dumb idea. There is no higher power that created all of the plants and animals. We are nothing more than a bag of elements that has been refined since the explosion of our universe. Look at Neanderthals, what do they look like? Apes. How did we get from Ape to Neanderthal to Homo Sapien? It's called evolution. Maybe if you gave that a chance you would not be spewing ignorance like it was your job. Science is what keeps the world in the know, which is why it is the enemy of religion. Religion wants to keep you in the dark about a number of things that would be quite hurtful if they were really taken seriously. For example, religion is the cause of most of the hate in the world. The Israeli-Palestinian conflict is over a supposed holy land. The Jews were almost exterminated because they were not part of a superior race of non-Jews. Prayer is also not a miracle cure. As I am respectful of your prior predicament, I have to say that the reason you were cured was do to advances in science, not divine intervention. Saying a few words with feeling does not have the same effect as antibiotics and life saving surgeries. Christ never saw my face, because I did not live two thousand years ago. He never spoke those words if you have even read the Bible, which I have. The words which he "spoke" as you say are not even in the bible. They are obviously a fabrication of an evangelical preacher trying to fool you into believing in something so fundamentally inane that it needed thousands of years of lies to really get going. If you had really read my post, you had recognized the sarcasm when I talked about God giving people minds. There is no God, but people like you believe that he gave you a mind. I was merely implicating that you use it and come to a startling revelation about the truth. What could that be? God is made up like Santa Clause. So please, I implore you. DO NOT under ANY circumstances pray for me. Curse me to hell, it will do no good. When we die, we decompose. No pearly gates. No Saint Peter. It's nice that you have your own opinions, just stop sharing them with me.

random is...

So I basically wrote these poems without think about them. I just used this feature on my cell phone that creates words out of the letters you type in. They are not very good poems in the literal sense, but they are interesting to read. Most of you are going to hate them, but whatever.

Common High Sabbath
Four Noon Halo
Old Man Kimbe
Wall Of Springtime
A Long Vigil

Nothing can hasten time.
Everything is on its own accord.
Quicken your pace dear boy.

darwinism at work

I think that I will start something new tonight. I am going to do this thing periodically about people who would be doing the gene pool a favor by just ceasing to exist. This time, I will be writing about a girl who thinks that my views are an abomination and that I am a heathen bastard. So this one is for you Katie.

Katie commented on my recent post about why religion is wrong stating:

Well I dont think that your views are right. How would you know about creationism if you dont give it a chance. Abortion is wrong unless your raped because it would be all your fault you have a kid in the first place. Second if you dont belive in God then why do you beleive in hell. If you belive in hell you have to believe in heaven- ying and yang.

So, to this ignorance I replied:

You obviously are one of those ignorant right-wing conservatives that I was talking about. I'm sorry that your eyes have not been opened to the truth yet, but do not worry, you shall be. You also missed my point. I do not believe in heaven or hell, as I am without a belief in God. Therefore I was merely trying to express my views on people who try to justify their actions by saying that they only believe in a heaven. And do not bother praying for me. It will not do me any good.

So Katie, I really enjoyed your comment and opinion. Just because you are wrong does not mean it was not entertaining.

religion ruined the world: its flaws and pointlessness

Creationism is just plain wrong- The very notion of just being created by a higher power is so absurd that listening to people babble on about it is enough to make my blood boil.

Scientology is the worst religion ever- Organized religion in itself is wrong, but a religion based on the dealings of a galactic overloard named Xenu who destroyed the first inhabitants of the universe with hydrogen bombs is the worst.

Abortions for all- Why should a woman not be allowed to choose whether or not she wants to have a baby? This is one of those times that the right wing conservatives need to stop imposing their views on the rest of humanity.

Stop hating the gays- Religion is the largest tool for hate in this country. No matter how much these people say they love all of "God's" people, they hate the gays who are part of those people. If God created everyone, he created the gays for a reason so get over yourselves.

Confession is pointless- If you are supposed to be able to talk to God through prayer, why are you not able to confess your sins to him through it. Going through the middleman just waters down the holy.

There can be no half way Christians- If you chose this particular religion, stick with it or find a new one. Stop all of this nonsense of "Oh, I'm a Catholic, but I don't agree with such and such." If you do not agree, stop being a Catholic and find something that suits you.

The Bible is not to be taken literally- It is a story. It was written hundreds of years after the fact and its only redeeming quality is that it has some deep philosophical meanings.

If there is a heaven, there has to be a Hell- Yin and Yang. You cannot have good without evil because they would not be able to exist without each other. You cannot be good if there is no bad to judge by.

These are just some of my qualms with religion in America and the world. People follow this thing so blindly and whole-heartedly that they forget to use the main thing that "God" gave them, their minds.

september is here, and with it the death of creativity

I have spent a lot of time this passed week doing nothing but thinking about school and running. The beginning of school usually marks the end of the great summer creativity boom that I usually go through. Now the only things that are on my mind are an impending test on summer work and finding a way to not suck at cross country anymore. During the care-free days of the summer months, my mind was allowed to wander free from any constraint. Math had no effect on my life, except for figuring out how much money I had to tip the Chinese take-out man. Once fall rolls around, my mind is racing with the usual hectic thoughts about my futurem and not screwing up my entire life by slacking off in school. Junior year is starting off to be the worst school year of my entire life, and it is not shaping up to be better. The only thing that I take solace in is the fact that I did not fail my first AP American Studies test. Right now, the literatire that we are reading in that class is enough to put a kid with ADHD to sleep. The Puritans were not talented, period. Anything written by them is not worth reading; it lacks depth and inner meaing. There is no thinking involved when reading some of this stuff. These days, what is left of my shattered brain is transfixed on this idea of going camping. I am totally absorbed in this idea of getting back to nature and just taking a break from the nonstop calamity that is my life. I want to get back to the basics and just be out in the natural world with out a care to be had. Ever since I was a young boy, I have always had a fascination with nature, a sentiment not shared by the other members of my family. Camping was always a dream of mine, a dream that always seemed to distant to be attained by means of my parents, so now I am taking it upon myself to make this a reality. There is nothing more relaxing than sitting by a roaring fire and just getting lost in your thoughts. The ultimate would be to share this experience with the people who I know would appreciate it the most. This is something that I truly want to do. This camping trip would be the creative spark that my mind needs to rekindle some of its summertime glory. The welfare of my mind depends on this trip. As Albert Einstein once said, "Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better." I hope all of this looking will not be in vain.

sit back and appreciate

These days, people do not care about the world around them. Nobody takes the time to just sit back and appreciate the things that are around them. No longer do people care about water flowing out of a beautiful fountain or the wonderful pieces of architecture dotting a college campus. People are so caught up in the hustle and bustle of everyday life that they forget that there are things around them that took time and effort to create. There is no appreciation anymore for the wonders of humanity. When the Empire State Building was first built, people marveled at the sheer greatness of humanity that was put into that building. Now, it's just an artifact of what used to be the tallest building in the world. Even some of the most beautiful pieces of architecture are thrust into the background of everyday living. Not on person truly stops to marvel at the truly amazing buildings that dot the cities of America. The things that are on people's minds are work and pleasure, with no space left for appreciation of beauty. This needs to change or eventually these buildings and creations of man's genius will be forgotten, reminiscent of an era when people gave a damn what their city looked like. Is it so difficult to just stop and marvel in man's acheivements? Why can a person work twelve hour days, even on Saturday, but not find the time to just stop and appreciate? People need to change for their own good. Man needs to be taken down a notch; the god-like businessmen and women need to have something that is greater than even them. Man is supposed to feel inferior, or else people come into power who have nothing left to fear. This lack of fear is what breeds dictators and serial killers. When you no longer feel that there is something out there greater than you, you lose sight of he common good. You lose sight of the true beauty of humanity and its wonders. A building may be just a building, a fountain just a fountain, but not if you do not want it to be. The mind perceives what you want it to, so give it something nice. You will be a happier person and you will begin to appreciate just living. As Randolph Bourne said, "Few people even scratch the surface, much less exhaust the contemplation of their own experience."

wallowing in self pity

This poem is just one big sigh of sadness. I wrote it when I thought I was losing the people dearest to me. I guess it's pretty depressing, but it was a sad time. No, I was not contemplating suicide.

Farewell to you my dearest friends
Looks like it's come between us after all.
I hope the grass is truly greener on their side
And I guess promises are made to be broken.
It's sad that it had to end this way
Things will just never be the same.
Maybe I'll see you around some time
But then again maybe I won't.
Those things were once in a lifetime
Too bad life is so short.
The manipulation of a mind is a bad thing
Don't let it happen to you again.

poetry from a sleeping city

Chicago 3

The city is napping
Have all the lights gone out?
A few migrant souls on the streets
Those cabbies never sleep
Working for that next ride.

Chicago 4

The concrete is broken by grass.
Green triumphs over black
Water has found its purpose.
The People are thirsty
Spare them a drop.

Chicago 5

Two people walking
On opposite sides of the street
Not knowing who the other is.
Separate minds, separate plans.
Their eyes connect just once
Never to meet again.

life's a downer

Life is a series of ups and downs, a never ending and constantly changing cycle. Your life and your outlook on it greatly influences the lengths and severity of these inevitable changes. Right now, I am on a serious downer and the only thing that is cheering me up right now is music and this blog. I am entering one of the toughest years of my life, a year filled to the breaking point with work, work, and more work. Junior year is a time for seriously strenuous workloads and the surmounting pressure of the SAT. As of now, I am dreading the coming weeks, hoping for some sort of catastrophe that will relieve me of this burden for a good long time. I know that everyone has gone through it, and for doing they are better people. I will survive somehow, but at this point in time, I do not quite know how. I spent the first two hours of the school year getting lectured on the importance of self-motivation and that if your not up to the challenge, you should drop the clas immediately and not look back. The class was chastised for thinking that anything would be easy anymore and that if that was your attitude you can kiss college goodbye. The threat of college and its impact on your future was the sermon on the lips of every teacher that I faced today. The impending doom of college is something that I fear everyday. It is constantly in the back of my mind, lurking there like the ghost of my future waiting to spring out an destroy everything that I have worked so hard to accomplish. The quicker that this year ends, the happier I will be. I know that I am going to have to stick this one out and that it will all be better once things settle down, but right now I am just not that into it. I hate early American literature and I have learned about the colonists about a hundred times. This year is basically going to bore the hell out of me until we reach more modern literature. I cannot wait to read some Hemingway, but I was quite perturbed that we would not be covering Faulkner. I have not read any of his stuff, but he seems to bring out extreme opinions in people, so I was hoping that an American literature course would cover some worthy American literature, but I was mistaken. The Red Badge of Courage is quite possibly one of the most boring books ever, and of course, it's one of the first novels that we are being forced to cover. American history is pretty much suicidaly boring until the Revolution, and then boring again until WWI. My life is in the downer faze, my only reconciliation is that this weekend will still be a weekend, not a pseudo-weekend filled with note-taking and pointless assignments. As they say in Latin, carpe diem, but I do not think that the Romans had to suffer through an entire year of AP American Studies.