one a.m. reflection

As I sit here reflecting upon the night's events, I come to wonder about the breakdown of the moral fiber of just about every person that I know. What is it that causes such a compete change in character in so many of these good people? These were my friends, people who I have grown up with. Why the sudden urge to throw caution to the wind and disregard everything that once used to be a part of life? These questions came up tonight as I sat in a living room, listening to my mood being played upon the piano beside me. I once used to have friends who wanted to be around me because they enjoyed my company. I still do, but that number is ever dwindling, decreasing as the days of high school pressures and stereotypes are played out before me. I am being slowly disregarded by many of the people who I once thought to be my closest and dearest friends. I am being replaced by an edgier group, one who has no morale fiber left intact. "Why has this change occurred?" one might ask. The answer is I really do not know. The only plausible solution that I have found thus far is my extreme aversion to drinking and smoking. I realized in the past that these are things that I do not wish to do, and now is not the time to change that. Obviously, this is not the case for a select group of people who see it fit to partake in these various acts of debauchery and youthen desire. If this is a path you so choose, so be it. I am not the one to judge, but I will have a healthy liver. To completely desert a person who you once held dear for a reason like that, though, is at its very core a selfish and immature occurrence. A person at that level of maturity does not deserve my friendship. There are times though, that I wish that it was still the days of old. Carefree days, without the threat of alcohol to come between a tight-nit group of friends. Those were the best of times, long nights in front of the television, surrounded by the people who I cared for the most. Alas, those days have sadly come to a close. Now, I sit surrounded by the truest of people, the ones who have never left my side. For that I am truly grateful. For those others, I wish them the best, as they will almost assuredly need it in the days to come. The loss of a friend is a terrible thing, but not something that cannot be overcome. Aristotle once said that, "Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit." It seems, though, that this fruit has begun to rot.