to Youth!

to Youth! A time,
So joyous and carefree.
A boy in his prime,
Forming the man to be.
He waits for the fall,
Realizing things so new.
Evil encompasses all,
A hand waits to grasp you.
Strive to keep walking on,
Gliding above the pain.
Look up to meet the dawn,
Let evil cause no strain.
Cherish the moments of youth,
Let them not go to waste.
Uncover all in truth,
Meet every challenge faced.
There will be pain and lies,
The trials of growth.
It's not always blue skies,
But one must always have both.
Take it all in stride,
Life should be a joy.
Keep your world view wide,
This advice you must employ.
Dear boy, it's an uphill fight.
Do not be discouraged,
In all of life's plight.

a meditation on sixteen

What is it that makes 16 the magical age? Is it the prospect of driving? Is it the notion of increased responsibility that will inevitably follow through to adulthood? Is it the concept of ever inching towards adulthood? These are questions that I have pondered from the time I turned 15 until yesterday, when I, at great last, turned 16. I tried to come up with suitable answers, but found that I could not come up with one. Sixteen is such and arbitrary number to be chosen for such a great responsibility as driving. I would have thought more science would have gone into the choosing of such an age where childhood comes to an end and the long and winding road of life truly begins. For it will truly be long and winding, filled with unexpected bumps and forks along the way, eventually and hopefully ending up exactly where it is supposed to go; the culmination of a productive and meaningful life. Then that notion gives way to what truly makes up a productive and meaningful life? Are the standards brought up through society? Must everyone measure up or be deemed a failure and wasted life? Many people may have differing concepts of what the ideal life actually entails. For me, the ideal life is one that ends in me accomplishing my goals, being a parent and watching my children grow up, and attaining a level of wisdom that allows me to give advice when necessary and hold my tongue when appropriate. First, I strive to become a writer. It is the one thing that I have found in my sixteen years of life that I can honestly say I am good at. While running the risk of sounding a little egotistical, I love the way I write both poetry and prose. It makes me truly happy and provides a great outlet for all of the emotions that are bottled up inside of me. Through the written word I am able to express thoughts and ideas that cannot truly be spoken. Writing is a window into the soul and through that window you are able to see every flaw and every strength, every emotion and feeling. Sentences become the panes of glass comprising the greater window that allows for this sight. It is through writing that nations are made and destroyed, it expresses opinions and ideas, and it affects people's lives every day. Something so strong comes out of something so simple, and that is why I feel the need to become a writer. To be a parent is pretty much the meaning of life. We are placed her to repopulate, just as our parents and their parents before them. I can only speculate as to the joy experienced through parenthood. Watching something that is fundamentally half of you grow up and mature must be the ultimate happiness. This is a feeling that I have yet to experience, but strongly wish to in the future. In our society, not a great deal of stress is put upon wisdom. In today's world, it is extremely hard to get anywhere unless you have a college degree and a great deal of intelligence. In the days of our forefathers, many men were not formally educated, yet they produced some of the most influential and ingenious writings in all of history. They were not smart by today's standards, but they were wise. They knew what had to be done and they were able to see what had to be done. Wisdom is something that I hope to attain, not just for my own benefit, but for the benefit of the people around me. If somebody needs advice, I want to be able to help and not just stare at their various problems blindly. To achieve wisdom is to achieve greatness. Greatness in the eyes of others is nice, but in order to truly be great, you have to be able to face yourself in the mirror everyday. The Buddha once said, "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." I think that for now, that is exactly what I am going to do.

mr. kerouac

As some of you may know, it was really that after I read On the Road by Jack Kerouac that I seriously contemplated becoming a writer. It was in reading that book that I realized my goals for the future and I am now a happier and more focused person in all aspects of life. On the Road changed my life when I read it and its profound affect on me is something that I cannot ignore. The writing style of Jack Kerouac also influenced my writing. The way that he not only tells a story, but allows you to feel the words is something that I try to emulate in my writing. As I was looking around my favorite website, wikipedia.org, I came across the Jack Kerouac page and I found this philosophy that he wrote by. After reading it, his work made much more sense and now I have a guideline on how to achieve my fullest potential in writing. These 30 points are what I am going to try and write by.

1. Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for your own joy.
2. Submissive to everything, open, listening.
3. Try never get drunk outside your own house.
4. Be in love with your life.
5. Something that you feel will find its own form
6. Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind.
7. Blow as deep as you want to blow
8. Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind.
9. The unspeakable visions of the individual.
10. No time for poetry but exactly what is.
11. Visionary tics shivering in the chest.
12. In tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you.
13. Remove literary, grammatical and syntactical inhibition.
14. Like Proust be an old teahead of time.
15. Telling the true story of the world in interior monologue.
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye.
17. Write in recollection and amazement for yourself.
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea.
19. Accept loss forever.
20. Believe in the holy contour of life.
21. Struggle to sketch the flow that already exists intact in mind.
22. Don't think of words when you stop but to see picture better.
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in your morning.
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of your experience, language and knowledge.
25. Write for the world to read and see your exact pictures of it.
26. Bookmovie is the movie in words, the visual American form.
27. In praise of Character in the Bleak inhuman Loneliness.
28. Composing wild, undisciplined, pure, coming in from under, crazier the better.
29. You're a Genius all the time.
30. Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven.

That last one makes no sense to me, but whatever, that's 29 left. Also, I do not get drunk so I can disregard the one about not getting drunk outside of my own home. So now I have direction for my writing and after re-reading all of these, I realized that I was doing a lot of this anyway.

living the lie

The beauty of a lie,
Is in its simplicity.
The act of meaning one,
And saying another.
It leaves all in the dark,
With one kept in the light.
Masking true intention,
Hiding deep inside.
The planning of a lie,
Must go off without,
So much as a lean,
Towards the right direction.
Intent must be true,
Desire must never waver.
A lie is a lie is a lie,
As night differs from day.
True intent to deceive,
Caring not for the plight,
Of another caring soul.
Pain inflicted need not factor,
Into the execution
And delivery of the fatal blow.
Then outcome of this,
Is never one to hold highly.
Friends are lost, enemies found,
And in the end no good
Will ever be made.

the make-up of a man

So I feel like listing all of the people, places and things that inspire me in my everyday life. In order to truly know a person, you must understand what truly makes them who they are. Here it is, the definitive list of me. Well, actually just the musical inspirations of my life. I will try to do the others later. Most of you probably will not read the whole thing, but that's okay, I did not do this for you.

The 69 Eyes, 311, A.F.I., AC/DC, Aerosmith, Al DiMeola, Alice Cooper, Alice in Chains, The Allman Brothers Band, American Minor, Andrea Bocelli, Anthrax, Asia, Bachman Turner Overdrive, Bad Company, The Band, The Beach Boys, Beastie Boys, The Beatles, Beck, Beethoven, Ben Harper, Big Country, Billy Bragg, Billy Idol, Billy Joel, Black 47, Balck Crows, Black Label Society, Black Oak Arkansas, Black Sabbath, Blind Faith, Blind Melon, Bloc Party, Blondie, Blue Oyster Cult, Blur, Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Bob Seger, Bon Jovi, Boston, Boys II Men, Bruce Springsteen, Cake, Charlie Daniels Band, Cheap Trick, Chigago, Chuck Berry, CKY, The Clancy Brothers, The Clash, Clutch, Coheed and Cambria, Crash Test Dummies, Cream, Creed, Creedence Clearwater Revival, Crosby, Stills, and Nash, Crosby Stills, Nash, and Young, The Cure, The Darkness, Dave Mason, Dave Matthews Band, David Bowie, Death Cab For Cutie, Death From Above 1979, Deep Purple, Def Leppard, Derek and the Dominoes, Dio, Dire Straits, Don Henley, Don McLean, Doobie Brothers, The Doors, Dropkick Murphys, The Dubliners, Eagles, Eddie Money, Edgar Winter, Electric Light Orchestra, Elton John, Elvis Costello, Elvis Presley, Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, Eric Clapton, Europe, Fall Out Boy, Finch, Fleetwood Mac, Flogging Molly, Foghat, Foo Fighters, Foreigner, Frank Sinatra, Frank Zappa, Free, Fugees, Genesis, George Clinton and Parliament Funkadelic, George Harrison, George Thorogood, Gerry Rafferty, Godsmack, Golden Earing, Grand Funk Railroad, The Grateful Dead, Green Day, The Guess Who, Guns and Roses, H.I.M., Haddaway, Harry Chapin, Heart, Herbie Hancock, The Hollies, Hootie and the Blowfish, Incubus, Indigenous, Interpol, Iron Butterfly, Iron Maiden, J Geils Band, Jack Johnson, Jackson Browne, James Taylor, Janes Addiction, Janis Joplin, Jeff Buckley, Jefferson Airplane, Jefferson Starship, Jethro Tull, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Buffet, Jimmy Eat World, Joan Jett, Joe Cocker, Joe Jackson, Joe Satriani, Joe Walsh, John Couger Mellancamp, John Lee Hooker, John Lennon, John Mayer, John Williams, Johnny Cash, Johnny Lang, Journey, Judas Priest, Kaiser Cheifs, Kansas, Kasabian, Kenny Rogers, Kingsmen, The Kinks, Kiss, KRS-One, Led Zeppelin, Lenny Kravitz, Little Feet, Living Colour, Lou Monte, Lou Reed, Luciano Pavoratti, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Manfred Mann's Earth Band, The Mars Volta, Marshall Tucker Band, Marvin Gaye, Mason Williams, Matisyahu, Meatloaf, Megadeth, Metallica, Modest Mouse, moe., Moody Blues, Motorhead, Mott the Hopple, Mountain, My Chemical Romance, Nas, Nazareth, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Nick Drake, Nino Rota, Nirvana, Notorious B.I.G., NWA, O.A.R., Oasis, The Outlaws, Ozzy Osbourne, Pantera, Pat Benatar, Paul McCartney, Paul Simon, Pearl Jam, Peter Frampton, Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Pink Floyd, Poison, The Police, The Pretenders, Procol Harum, Public Enemy, Pure Prarie League, Queen, Quiet Riot, R.E.M., Radiohead, Rage Against the Machine, Rainbow, The Ramones, Ray Charles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, REO Speedwagon, Rick Derringer, Ringo Starr, Robert Plant, Rod Stewart, Rolling Stones, Rooney, Rufio, Run-D.M.C., Rush, Ryan Adams, Santana, Seal, Simon and Garfunkel, Skid Row, Sly and the Family Stone, Smashing Pumpkins, The Smyrk, Steely Dan, Steppenwolf, Steve Miller Band, Stevie Nicks, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Stevie Wonder, Styx, Sublime, Supertramp, System of A Dow, Talib Kweli, Talking Heads, Tchaikovsky, Ted Nugent, Tenacious D, Tesla, Thin Lizzy, Three Dog Night, Three Inches of Blood, Tom Jones, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Tool, Tracy Chapman, Traffic, Translpants, Tupac, Turbonegro, Twisted Sister, U2, The Used, Van Halen, Van Morrison, Wagner, Warren Zevon, Weezer, The White Stripes, The Who, Wu-Tang Clan, Wyclef Jean, The Yardbirds, Yes, Zach de la Rocha, Zox, and ZZ Top.

cycles of life

There comes a point in everybody's life when they are inevitably asked the same question, "What do you want to do with your life?" Usually, the same reply is given, "I don't know." Every time this question is asked though, you are forced to look deep inside yourself to search for what you truly want to do. It is not something to be taken lightly and does require much thought and consideration. Many factors come into play when deciding how the rest of your life will be shaped by this important choice. I you end up doing something you hate, there is no way that you will be happy in life. You will just wallow in the muck and mire of life, searching for that one thing that will reverse the negative effects of that one bad decision. This is a daunting task to complete and one that is not to be taken lightly. One decision that maps your entire life; one choice that lays out your future in front of you. Even if you make the right decision, there is no guarantee that you will end up doing that anyway. There are so many factors that go into whether or not you will have success in your goal that the odds are inexorably stacked against you. You must work hard all through high school to prepare you for the SAT which basically decides your fate. Once that is done, it is your grades, activities, and SAT score that will determine whether or not you get into the college you want. If you do not get into a good school, there is a very slim chance of your success in the career that you hoped to have. This vicious cycle is what determines the happiness of a man and also determines his place in society. Breaking out of this cycle is the challenge. With all the pressures throughout high school and outside of that microcosm, it is hard to realize what you truly would like to do with your life. I personally cannot wait until this whole process has commenced. I want to be on my own, trying to come to a realization of what my life should truly be about and what I should truly be doing. Once I am able to do that, everything else will fall into place. "You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." -Jack London